Drunken Advice From a Stranger

Starring Your Favorite Inspirational Life Coaches, Dimmie and Kookster


Jeremy wrote:
Hi. I have a problem. I live on this little rocky planet called Earth, nestled
into the western spiral arm of the Milky Way galaxy. On Earth, most of the
population seems to believe that some kind of angry, extreme right-wing messiah
is going to arrive soon and that the end of the world is some sort of a good
thing! In fact, they even appear to look forward to it. Some of them are trying
to help this happen! I am afraid that this may not be such a good thing, because
we actually just got into smashing atoms together a few decades ago, and making
chain reactions that destroy whole cities at a time. I know this because some
people actually used a couple of these bombs not too long after they invented
them. Now, some of the principalities here have thousands of these bombs – more
than enough to wipe out all life here in the span of hours. And that’s nothing,
because now we’re getting bored with that and making weapons that kill a little
more slowly via disease and poisoning and stuff. Besides that, some of the Head
Chieftains of these principalities are even crazier than the regular ones who
want to see the end of the world. I’m not sure what they have in mind, but i’m
reasonably certain that they’re trying to top the whole end of the world thing

So my question is: how the hell am i supposed to live here? I don’t have a ride
and not enough money to leave, plus i am ashamed to say that even though we can
destroy whole planets, we haven’t yet figured out how to leave one, never gotten
the hang of space travel (beyond just driving around the block and back), so i’m
stuck here and so is everybody else, including the crazies. I have to live among
these crazy religious fools who want to help bring about the complete end of
civilization and all life. It’s getting kinda difficult, you guys.

Jeremy,  cheer up, it’s not as bad as it seems, pretty soon we’ll not only be able to destroy the earth but the universe as well.

In the meantime however, sometimes the best you can do is prepare yourself as well as you can.  Have you built yourself a bug out bag?  A bag packed with all the items you would need to survive for three if you had to leave your dwelling in a hurry.  Is your home stocked with food and water, could you bug in if you had to?

The best you can do is prepare for the worst, but never lose sight of enjoying what you have.  

this is a deep well thought out question, so I refrained from cussing.

P.S. please not to bleed too much from your anus, any anal bleeding should be addressed immediatly by a medical professional. 

Note from Hawk: Protect your puddin cup.