Drunken Advice From a Stranger

Maif wrote:

How can I make tomorrow night’s Housewarming Party even awesomer than it’s
already going to be?  How can I possibly improve the Disco Cave?
How did you go so long without discovering that the back gate to the Dumpster
has no lock?  Where have you been putting your trash?

So this one is obviously not from a stranger, there fore I deem it only worthy of the following responses:

1.  Your mom

2. Your face

3. Your mom’s face is gay

4. UPINYA!!!!!

Please note, requests from actual strangers will be answered with the best advice our well meaning but drunk minds can come up with.