Drunken Advice From a Stranger

Starring Your Favorite Inspirational Life Coaches, Dimmie and Kookster


Hot Shit decided to ramp up our rating by discussing her sex life:

My Boyfriend’s in L.A. right now doing something for the film industry, and I
want to support his career, but I don’t want to move to fucking LA!  How can I
get him to stay in Chicago, but not be a bad girlfriend?

p.s. oh and also I want to constantly have sex with him, that’s the most
important thing, but I DON”T WANT TO MOVE TO L A !!!!  But lots of sex.  THat’s
important. Sex

Well, to be honest, if any important person in my life went to LA to join the porn sex scene, I’d feel a little betrayed.  The primary thing to look at here is that the boy is trying to earn a living. He obviously has some sort of family values, in the way that he’d like to support you, with his porno-sexing ways. Knowing this, I believe, makes it easier to accept that you  may only see him at rare intervals, due to his frequenting other….people.. It’s most important right now to know that he loves you, and that his fucking journey is just so that he can grow closer to you.

No seriously, he’s in LA, he’s probably fucking other chicks, you don’t need to go that road, you shouldn’t wait for him.  Don’t be a whore, but move on with your life.  Also, we note you never mention love, only sex, so that’s pretty indicative of how things are between you.  End it, make it clean, and go on. There are plenty of other good penises in chicago.  If you should meet him again, he may be happily married, and you will say ‘thank Dim I dodged a fucking bullet’.  If he’s not married, fuck the shit out of that fucking boy because his cock is the shit, but don’t commit to anything until you are sober.

PS. Don’t Be a whore, let me repeat, don’t be a fucking whore.  Break up with him BEFORE you fuck all the hot cocks in chicago.   This is important. 

your answer is a collaborative response from Hawk, Dimmie and Kookster, we only drink because we love you.

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